Something to Ponder

Posted on November 13, 2010 by Scott Ranck

I think most of us grow up thinking our home life was “normal.” After all that is all we knew as a child. Until we got to go to other kids homes and see maybe their home life was different we really didn’t have any thing to compare. I really enjoy looking at the dynamics of my childhood family and even back to grandparents simply to learn. I don’t feel like it is right to blame because in most cases parents did the best they could with what they had to work with. That said, there is so much to learn about yourself and the way you interact with your family and other people. Think about all the scenarios available someone could have as a home of origin. Each of the following could be used to describe the mom or dad. 1. Absent 2. Died while you were young 3. Protective 4. Addicted 5. emotionally engaged. 6. emotionally disengaged 7. Controlling 8. Abusive. I only am using negative traits because they seem to be the ones that hurt us the most. I’ve been attempting to describe to the best of my understanding my parents and then thinking about what impact that would have on a little boy growing up in the environment. What traits would I learn about what it looks like to be a man? To be a husband? To be a father? More on this later, but I have discovered some things that were rather shocking to me. Ponder this?
blessings,
Scott

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Redeemer

Posted on November 13, 2010 by Scott Ranck

Our men’s group is studying, kind of, Wild At Heart. One tiny phrase jumped out to me and the Lord opened my understanding to some things. “The enemy fears you,” was the phrase. I started thinking about life and the men I work with in our men’s group. I thought about all the life struggles many of them have faced and thought, “The enemy fears you!” He fears you so much he has constantly battered your life to keep you from reaching your full potential. He keeps you filled with shame and remorse like hitting you constantly in the face with a left jab to keep you off balance. But the Lord is a redeemer of broken things. Think about his own story. From Hero to Zero in one week. The crowds cheered him on Palm Sunday, but turned on him in a week. All his followers ran for their lives and deserted him. The angry mob was fueled by hate and fear and killed him. The enemy was gloating thinking he one the major battle. He didn’t know God is a redeemer! What Satan thought was his major victory turned out to be his ultimate defeat when God redeemed all of mankind through that death and subsequent resurrection! Because of that He can also redeem everything the enemy threw in your path to defeat you as well. The places where the deepest hurt and shame are, when redeemed actually become your platform for ministry. Real ministry that touches people in deep places and brings life change. Satan fears you! He fears what happens when your brokenness is redeemed and can no longer hold you captive to its shame. When your story is told freely and openly for the purpose of seeing others in the same struggles set free. You become a powerful force to reckon with. Yes, the enemy fears you, but more fully, he fears what God can do with you when your story is redeemed and you are set free!
blessings,
Scott

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Too Many Blind Spots

Posted on February 18, 2010 by Scott Ranck
Recently, I’ve been talking about the verse found in Matthew 6:23, "And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!" I put it this way, "When I think I’m right on something but I’m really wrong, there is no greater wrong than that because I’m not open to see the truth."

At this point in my life, I’ve had too many of those blind spots brought to light. I have come to see many things that I had not been able to see previously, well, my entire life! I’ve seen enough other people who are oblivious to areas where they think they are right and often bulldogmatically, when in fact they are wrong and it is ugly to see! Emotionally intelligent people actually are open to hear what others around them see. Honest feedback both negative and positive is my friend.

It is kind of like when you go out to eat and you have a chunk of something on your chin and you don’t know it and you are carrying on all kinds of conversations with the people you are with, waitresses, etc. You go to the boy’s room and look in the mirror and there is this chunk on your face! When we are open, when we have true friends, we invite them to tell us those things before we embarrass ourselves.

We fear telling people those glaring flaws we and everyone else see and talk about in them. Often I’m not really wanting to hear those things others see in me either. I’m here to say, my growth would be terribly stunted if there weren’t some people in my life who had permission to tell me anything they see in me that I’m blind to.

One time a guy came to me and told me about this awesome hospital visit he had with his grandmother. He told me he was telling her all about the Lord. He said she was hanging on every word and was so moved she asked if he would pray for her. At the time, I was his pastor and he asked me to go see her and follow up. I went to see his grandma and said, "I heard you had quite a visit from your grandson." She said, "the boy wouldn’t shut up for a minute and the only way I could get rid of him was to ask him to pray for me!!!!"

What if I think I’m really doing a great job as a spouse but my wife is miserably dying inside? What if I think I’m doing a great job at work but I really am not up to speed? What if I think I’m really an exemplary Christian but the people around me think I’m a pushy, self-righteous hypocrite and they hate to see me coming their way?

When what I think is light, right, effective is really dark, wrong and ineffective and most everybody around me can see the "chunk on my chin," that is a terrible spot to be in. Nobody who is a true friend will leave me in that place without pulling me aside and sharing with me. But what if I’m not willing to hear? What if I am so sure I’m right that I argue and defend myself and choose to continue on my way oblivious to the truth? There is no greater darkness than that!

My prayer has been, Lord, you are the light, shine your light in the dark nooks and crannys of my life and please, allow what I think is light in me to really be light! Please Lord, allow me to be humble enough to hear the truth from my friends and even my enemies.

blessings,
Scott

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The War Within

Posted on February 18, 2010 by Scott Ranck
Reading Bo’s Cafe and then Truefaced the concept of choosing between the "Performance Path" and the "Trust Path," really has stood out to me as the ultimate war within throughout life. As a non-believer I come to a fork in the road that invites me either to try harder to please God, or simply trust what He says He already did for me through Christ’s death and resurrection. Say I chose the trust path and accept that God has already declared me right with Him. Now I’m a Christian but a new fork in the road appears. Will I jump on the "Christian Performance Treadmill," and start trying harder to do all the right things and avoid all the wrong things. The performance path chews you up and spits you out and you never can perform good enough, so an image has to be created on the outside that is acceptable. The other option isl I turn onto the "Trust Path?" The trust path says, God already sees me as accepted, loved and forgiven. The trust path says, come to Me and I’ll give you rest, I’ll teach you, I’ll unfold the plan for you, relax in me, I’ve got your back, we will face this life together. As I chose the trust path and begin to mature, leadership roles open before me and with them a very similar fork in the road. The "Performance Path," drives me and says," its up to you buddy, you better make something happen." If something good happens Im proud, if it doesn’t I’m dejected. The other path says, "Trust me, I know you don’t know what your doing, all you need to do is stay really close to me, seek me, listen to my voice and I’ll show you what to do." As I head toward leaving a legacy and mentoring others I’m again confronted with the same fork. The "Performace Path," says, "look at what I’ve accomplished," and "I’ve earned the right to be heard." The "trust path" says, "Look at what He did through me." "I want to pass on to you to always choose the Trust Path. When you take a detour get back over there as soon as possible." That is all I have to pass on. Follow Him, Hear His Voice and courageously follow. The just will live by faith.

Blessings,
Scott

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Why I Still Am Afraid of The Dark

Posted on February 18, 2010 by Scott Ranck
I headed out for my run with the question in mind, why is it so easy for me to be a safe person for others to confide in, run to and actually seek out for help. Why can others drop their guards and trust me to listen often to their deepest darkest secrets and yet the person I love the most in the world is the hardest for me to have that kind of relationship with.
First, let me say Gayle and I are doing very well, but lately I’ve seen this pattern in us and most others. Here is the result of my thinking today.
Usually when someone else is sharing their stuff with me, "I don’t have a dog in the hunt!" None of the hurt has anything to do with me except to help them wade through it, I’m not emotionally involved and none of the emotion concerning the hurt in the other person is leveled at my failures or shortcomings.
I’m still afraid of the dark, at least this kind of darkness Jesus described, "When the light that is in you is really darkness there is no greater darkness." That means when I think I’m right, but I’m wrong, it is the greatest kind of wrong because I’m not even open to hear anything "Cus I’m right dag gumit." So, when my "light" my version of an event, my reality isn’t really light or right, geesh, I don’t like to hear it.
Which leads me to my next pondering which is basically, "Scott, all that is is pride!" It hit me, Gayle has gone everywhere and done everything in our married life I wanted or thought God wanted me to do. I’ve carried myself like, my life is really more important than hers, my version of a story is the correct one, I’m usually right (at least in my head) and my thinking is "normal." That is pride, period.
Too often when trying to "listen" if I hear anything that is aimed at me I want to say, "yeah but," and defending me becomes more important than hearing her heart. I guess the bottom line for me was when I said I would love, honor, cherish, protect and whatever else I promised way back then I’ve dropped the ball too often.
So now I’m praying. Thanks Lord and thanks Gayle for loving me better than I’ve loved either of you! Lord walk with me as I learn the mystery of my wife’s heart. Teach me to lay down all my defenses and just listen.
One thought about my ponderings for all who will read this. I wrote this for me and for you who read. This would be for me to practice not to read and think my spouse needs to practice. I can only work on me.
blessings,
Scott
 
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The Privilege of Becoming a Safe Person

Posted on January 16, 2010 by Scott Ranck
The recent cold snap reminded me of boyhood days growing up in North Central Pennsylvania. We had all kinds of water around where I lived. Swimming pools, farmer’s ponds, small streams and the Susquehanna River. When winter came and the boys were out playing, frozen ponds, pools and rivers held a certain facination. I remember as a little kid dabbling along the edge of a small stream near our house, testing the ice to see if it would hold me. I got numerous wet, freezing cold feet. Later as I got a little older and a little braver I got opportunities to get my whole body soaking wet and freezing, freezing cold when the ice would break and I’d fall through. I’m really lucky to be alive because I was a little dare devil! As I got older and wiser from the numerous plunges into frozen water as the ice gave way, I learned how to test the ice before trusting it. I had grown very cautious and skeptical that any ice could hold me. I’d put only part of my weight on the edge, if it held I’d shift more weight to the ice, if it held, I’d stomp down, then throw big rocks out a ways to see if I could hear or see it crack. After numerous and extensive tests, I’d begin to trust the ice with my weight. Easy going at first, then with more courage and confidence, as I walked further out and heard no cracking, I’d give myself fully to the ice, running sliding, playing freely. It was a conscious, internal submission believing the ice was safe and I could trust it to hold me up.
 
If you are big enough to be reading this you are then fully aware of how often "the ice" of a relationship has broken and plunged you into its frigid waters. That doesn’t happen too many times and we begin to really never put our weight fully into a relationship again. We grow skeptical and cautious wondering if we could ever trust anyone again with ourselves. We often feel the pressure put on us by others to "trust the ice." We are coerced, manipulated, shamed, guilt tripped, etc. but the truth is we have to do major testing, just a little piece of ourselves at a time before fully trusting, before we will venture putting our full weight into a relationship. It may take much time and testing before we feel free to frolic and enjoy with reckless abandon again! That kind of life is worth pursuing. It is worth becoming a safe person to help others be able to achieve that kind of life.
 
So am I a safe person? Can I be trusted? Will others be able to feel so safe with me so they can play freely in relationship with me? So how can I become a person others can trust with the full weight of their lives?
 
I’ve been learning from a ministry called Truefaced and pondering this all week. First, I realize I can never "make" anyone feel safe enough to trust me. I can’t give them a list of 10 reasons why they should trust me. I can’t preach it into them, beat it into them or sell it to them. I can’t say "you need to feel safe enough to trust me." I can only become the kind of person that others test and realize I am safe, I can be trusted.
 
I have to choose I will become safe. I have to know I cannot make anyone change anything and basically give up on that. I have to open myself to trust God will do what He does when I do what I can do. I can love and accept, I can listen, I can withhold my instinct to correct, or preach to you what you "should" or "ought" to do and give you space to decide what you will do, which is the only true obedience anyway.
 
I have to know you have been "wet and frozen" too many times to trust me without testing me. You need to be given time and space to lean on the edge alittle, maybe throw a few rocks before you are willing to trust your full weight to my friendship. In time, hopefully inside you come to believe I’m capable of holding the full weight of your friendship and you will become free enough to run, and slide and have fun knowing it is fully safe.
 
When you trust fully, you can also believe the truth, look at yourself more honestly, choose to make some really healthy choices and experience a richer, fuller more meaningful life. That all begins when someone creates a safe place for you. What a privilge then because ultimately we create an environment where God does His thing, brings life change from the inside out because we choose to trust Him and trust Him with the outcome of our obedience to Him.
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The Main Thing!

Posted on November 29, 2009 by Scott Ranck
Many years ago an older Christian Business man said to me, "Scott, always remember to keep the main thing the main thing." That was and is a great line but often it depends what church you go to and what they determine the main thing to be! In some, it is helping other people come to Christ and then they become part of the team to reach the rest of the world. In other places you would think taking care of the poor is the main thing. Different churches incorporate all the same things some package them differently. In some churches you would think worship style or being cutting edge is the most important thing. Many young pastors are very proud of being different as if being different is what God has called us to become.
 
From my current vantage point (read the previous post) I believe the main thing is to have a growing personal relationship with Jesus Christ. After 30 years of being a believer, Paul the great apostle in his writing to the Phillipian Church said, "That I may know Him and the power of his resurrection sharing in his sufferings. . ." Jesus said in John 17:3, "This is life eternal that they might know You, the only true God and Jesus Christ whom you sent." Jesus also said in John 15, I am the vine and you are the branches if you abide in me you will bring forth much fruit. In Matthew 7, Jesus says to some really active religious people, "Depart from me for I never knew you." The main thing is being in a vibrant, growing relationship with Jesus Christ. When I am in that place, I want to worship, I will have an impact on others, I will care about helping hurting people and I will make a difference. I hate to say it, worship style is fluff, its personal preference, being cutting edge has nothing to do with anything. The only thing that matters is am I personally in a growing relationship and is what I’m doing in ministry promoting that same cause for others to enjoy. The outcome of the relationship will be surrender, humility, love, service and impact. When I know Him, I have eternal life. When I know Him, He directs my life. When I know Him, He teaches me everything He wants me to know. When I know Him, He prompts me where to serve, give, share and who needs His touch. "Come to Me," Jesus says, I will give you rest for your souls, learn from Me! Knowing Him is the main thing!
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Its been a while. . .

Posted on November 14, 2009 by Scott Ranck
But so much has happened. I’ve written some notes on Facebook from time to time instead of in here. I’m pondering writing another book called "Divine Encounters" and came here to see some of them I wrote about. I believe in many ways the search I have been on for the last 10-12 years has culminated. I believe God stripped away layer after layer after layer after layer till finally I arrived at my core issues. I had a very clear sense when I uncovered the last two layers I found what I was looking for. I feel I am finally at a place where I can "forget those things which are behind and press toward the prize of the high calling of Jesus Christ." In Scripture Jesus said, "Get the log out of your own eye before attempting to get the splinter out of someone else’s." Here is an oft over looked statement in that same passage, "Then you will be able to see clearly (diablepo) in Greek which means to see through or discern) to help remove the splinter." I am making this statement in humility but I’ve been doing major log removal in myself for many years as I’ve stripped myself emotionally to the core of my being. Each log I’ve removed, I have noticed a side benefit/curse, I could "see through" the person with the splinter. The log and splinter are the same material just differing amounts. Log removal produces discernment in the area you’ve done the hard work. I feel as I approach my 56th birthday, I’m now prepared to do ministry in a healthy way. Nothing matters now except enjoying the connection to the Father and doing whatever it is He needs me to do. People’s opinions don’t matter, money doesn’t matter, popularity isn’t important all that matters is to leverage my time and resources to achieve whatever it is that God wants me to do for Him. All that matters is to "apprehend that for which I’ve been apprehended."
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What a Powerful Exercise!

Posted on May 23, 2009 by Scott Ranck
Two weeks from today I’ll be heading half way around the world to Uganda. I’m leading a team of 12 other guys to go and help build the Village of Hope. I challenged all the men a couple weeks ago to make sure they documented everything important, have a will made if they haven’t yet, and maybe even write some things to the significant people in their lives just in case we didn’t come home. It would be presumptious to think flying somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 hours each way that nothing could go wrong! Plus, this is Africa, TIA as they day in Blood Diamond! So, over the last couple days I’ve been writing notes to Gayle, Jennifer, Lisa and Timothy, Jessi and Bella, My Mom and Mother-in-law, my brother and sister, Willie P, the Bay Life Men and a few others to be read if something happened and I don’t come home. Wow, you talk about emotional! I sat there writing these thinking about the impact on my family and friends if the unthinkable happened, it was tough fighting back the tears. It was interesting too that I had a desire to encourage them to know I’d be waiting on the other side and it won’t be that long till they get there! Then I read them all to Gayle and we were pretty misted up together! She said if anything happened she’d have hers laminated and sleep with it! The point is, I’m planning on coming back but really we don’t know from day to day that we will live another week or day for that matter. It was as if I was present at my own funeral service in some ways. It was the most I’ve ever entered into the fact that one day I will die. It was interesting because everything in me wants to live, yet the idea of getting there and being there to greet my family as they joined me in heaven was pretty exciting too. So, I live with this tension, to remain here is better for my family and ministry but to go and be with Christ is far better. I’d encourage anyone who reads this to do this exercise. Write a note to your loved ones as if you would be gone in a month. It will change your perspective on life, I guarantee it.
 
Scott
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Doing God’s Will Promotes Emotional Health!

Posted on May 16, 2009 by Scott Ranck
I read and pondered deeply this morning 1 Thessalonians 5:18, a verse in the Bible that says, "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is GOD’S WILL for you who belong to Christ Jesus." I’ve read this verse a hundred times but usually have glossed over it. Today, sitting by the pool, cool breeze from the ceiling fan keeping me comfortable I’m thinking, how can you tell me to be thankful in every circumstance and not only that but making the assertion stronger by saying it is God’s Will! I’m doing some major, "Yeah buts," in my head. Yeah but, what about really, really hurtful stuff like death, marriage failures, job loss, and car wrecks? Am I supposed to be thankful in those things? You’ve got to be kidding. Knowing he wasn’t kidding though I had to think deeper, how could this be true and how could anyone really practice this?
 
I started probing more deeply, okay, I know God’s goal for all Christians is to take us from the place He found us to become like Jesus. I also know that process will take our entire lives and then finally when we see Him we will be like Him. Between now and then God is always the sculptor with the chisel ready to chip away more Scott and reveal more Jesus. So, hard headed as I am, how does that happen? Often in softer and more open moments the change can happen just from reading His word or hearing it taught, lights go on, stuff changes. But for me, some of the more deeply ingrained attitudes and behaviors are chisled away when the crap hits the fan in my world. I don’t believe God causes bad things to happen, but I believe He is eager to redeem the bad things to accomplish something worthwhile out of them.
 
Okay then, because I know God is shaping me to be like Jesus and He promises He is at work in everything and will bring some good out of every circumstance, then it is up to me to realize when things go south in my world, I can have great confidence that one day looking back I will see God used that hurthful time to develop me to be more like Him. Sounds good but how do I know that can really happen?
 
The cross! Going through all the brutality of the event, all the evil of men, a terrible train wreck of circumstances, betrayal, evil and hurt, God worked in the circumstances and brought about redemption for all who would believe. The very worst event in human history brought about the most positive results.
 
I look back over my life at difficult people, terrible mistakes on my own part, bad circumstances and see through those things I learned some of the greatest life lessons and my character has been developed the most in the deepest valleys. Again, evidence that God was at work in me through circumstances.
 
God is always at work in life’s circumstances for our good. He is always trying to shape me, teach me, remake me in His image. So, when life brings me some really tough circumstances It is God’s desire for me to say, time for school! I don’t know what is going on in my world, but I know my Heavenly Father is at work in me through the circumstances and for that I am and will be thankful.
 
It is God’s will for me to be thankful in all circumstances. When I can view life that way, I can be like the eye of the hurricane, calm in the middle of storms and that is emotional health. Lord help me remember this!
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