At this point in my life, I’ve had too many of those blind spots brought to light. I have come to see many things that I had not been able to see previously, well, my entire life! I’ve seen enough other people who are oblivious to areas where they think they are right and often bulldogmatically, when in fact they are wrong and it is ugly to see! Emotionally intelligent people actually are open to hear what others around them see. Honest feedback both negative and positive is my friend.
It is kind of like when you go out to eat and you have a chunk of something on your chin and you don’t know it and you are carrying on all kinds of conversations with the people you are with, waitresses, etc. You go to the boy’s room and look in the mirror and there is this chunk on your face! When we are open, when we have true friends, we invite them to tell us those things before we embarrass ourselves.
We fear telling people those glaring flaws we and everyone else see and talk about in them. Often I’m not really wanting to hear those things others see in me either. I’m here to say, my growth would be terribly stunted if there weren’t some people in my life who had permission to tell me anything they see in me that I’m blind to.
One time a guy came to me and told me about this awesome hospital visit he had with his grandmother. He told me he was telling her all about the Lord. He said she was hanging on every word and was so moved she asked if he would pray for her. At the time, I was his pastor and he asked me to go see her and follow up. I went to see his grandma and said, "I heard you had quite a visit from your grandson." She said, "the boy wouldn’t shut up for a minute and the only way I could get rid of him was to ask him to pray for me!!!!"
What if I think I’m really doing a great job as a spouse but my wife is miserably dying inside? What if I think I’m doing a great job at work but I really am not up to speed? What if I think I’m really an exemplary Christian but the people around me think I’m a pushy, self-righteous hypocrite and they hate to see me coming their way?
When what I think is light, right, effective is really dark, wrong and ineffective and most everybody around me can see the "chunk on my chin," that is a terrible spot to be in. Nobody who is a true friend will leave me in that place without pulling me aside and sharing with me. But what if I’m not willing to hear? What if I am so sure I’m right that I argue and defend myself and choose to continue on my way oblivious to the truth? There is no greater darkness than that!
My prayer has been, Lord, you are the light, shine your light in the dark nooks and crannys of my life and please, allow what I think is light in me to really be light! Please Lord, allow me to be humble enough to hear the truth from my friends and even my enemies.