REALfitness by Scott

Here we are in what was always a cold time of year for a Pennsylvania Boy! February 16th in the dead of winter. It is days like this that remind me why we moved to Florida 3 1/2 years ago now. We used to vacation here but now many tourist attractions are within an hours drive. So, today it was supposed to be one of those Florida Winter Days of 80+ degrees. We invited our daughters to join us for an adventure. Only Jennifer could go with Gayle and me as we headed to Anna Maria Island then south through Bradenton Beach, Coquina Beach, Longboat Key and over to St. Armand’s Circle (Lido Key). That is one of my most favorite drives in all the world. We ate at the Beach House a local favorite and had a front row seat to the beach. Actually we were on the beach, our feet in the sand, sea gulls flying near by and even parasailers going by like it were mid summer at Virginia Beach!! The beach had plenty of people on it enjoying the weather. It is still strange every time I remember it is the middle of winter and the northern part of our country is freezing. What can we say except we love Florida Winters! Enjoy the photo album!

Well I just got home from running the Gasparilla Half-Marathon in downtown Tampa. My trooper wife Gayle got up early, I got up at 3:45am and she joined me shortly after that, and we headed downtown for the race. It was a coolish 54* out at race time. I believe about 4,000 people participated in the half and full marathon’s. We got to meet team Hoyt (see pic). It was a nice run around Davis Island and down the beautiful Bay Shore Blvd. My legs felt pretty strong but finishing these things is a battle of the will for me! I knocked about 2 minutes off my previous effort and ran the whole thing in a 7:56 minute per mile pace. I don’t have my official time yet but it will be 1:44:? We got home cleaned up and I feel good enough to head off to church! I had set a goal to finish under 1:45:00 and I did it! Thank the Lord for the ability he’s given the old man!

 

I just got the official report. My time was 144:43 and I finished 22nd out of 119 in my age bracket. I was very pleased with that finish!!

Many years ago now, Gayle and I started taking what we called "Spiritual Adventure Trips." Basically, they are day trips with a little twist. We believe God knows what we need on a day off more than we do and that He delights in surprising us. So, we hold hands in the driveway and pray giving the adventure fully over to Him and ask Him to use the day to refresh us and give us what we need the most that day. See, I believe we are hard-wired for adventure and when life is routine we lose the thrill of being alive and discovering new or old things. Over the eight years or so we’ve been doing this so many adventrues have turned out to be so special. Gayle has scrap books full of pictures from these trips. The memories are amazing but the adventures themselves are so special. We love going to new places we’ve never been. Little old downtowns, whatever because when it is the first time you are someplace every corner you turn holds discoveries. The little restaurants, window seats, ice cream cones, long walks, historic buildings, and many local special days are some of the things we’ve enjoyed. We have been shocked the number of times we have just taken off with no idea where we were going or what was happening that particular day in a town. We’d get tired of riding or need a bathroom break so we’d stop in some little out of the way place only to find out that day was some big annual celebration or an annual art show. Last weekend we took off kind of in this manner. We went to a little town in Florida named Inverness. There is a nice park with a railroad that was converted into a biking, running, walking or whatever trail. It covers 46 miles and is called Rails to Trails. See the pictures in my album. We went to a very small but neat place called Floral City. We knew there were some relatives we had not seen in 30 years who wintered in Brooksville. We called Gayle’s mom and got an address and put it in our GPS. We pulled up to the place and eventually found Aunt Wanda (formerly married to Gayle’s dad’s brother Harold) she is 87 years old and comes down from PA every year for the winter. She looked at us for some time before Gayle said who she was. Then it was a journey down memory lane. She took us to where Gayle’s dad’s sister was staying. Claire Louise looked at us both for some time and guessed it was Gayle. We went out to dinner and had a great connection with our past and because Claire Louise looks alot like Gayle’s dad who is no longer with us, it was almost like being with him again as well. We had a delightful time!! Like always our adventures have twists and turns we never expected as they unfold. I can’t tell you how much they infuse life into us. I would highly recommend this to anyone who needs some adventure in your life. One great thing is you can never be late because you aren’t on any schedule. When you get hungry you find some neat place to eat. "Spiritual Adventure Trips", one of the highlights of my life!!

I’m an avid learner. I’m always reading, listening, researching trying to learn and grow. I can’t believe I never actually read Dale Carnegie’s "How to Win Friends and Influence People," till now. I did have to memorize some of his key points in college but never read the book. I recently bought the audio version and have begun listening. Carnegie talks about how all of us do what we do to get what we get. In other words, our deep down motivations that fuel our behaviors are done for the purpose of meeting some deep need in ourselves. Recently, I’ve seen how my deep need for words of encouragement or affirmation often fuel me to go "fishing." If that need is not being met in me, I begin to tell people what I’m doing in an attempt to elicit their praise. I do what I do to get what I get. I work with a men’s group at church, now no man will be shocked by the following statement but many ladies probably will be. Just as most women long for security and closeness and other emotional needs to be met, especially the need to feel attractive and worthy of being loved, most men seem to have physical needs closer to the surface. Feed us, give us a recliner and the remote control, and sleep with us and most guys think all is well with the world. With that physical need so close to the surface many men, if moral at all, struggle with a desire to look at attractive members of the opposite sex. This is all going some where so hang on. Some time ago I wrote a blog about the flesh vs. the spirit. How for Christians all our motivations come from one of those two cores. The other day I’m at Wal-Mart by myself to pick up a couple things and a forty something woman comes around the corner dressed in such a way that I’m sure any man’s eyes would drop lower than her face immediately. She was fairly attractive but clearly showing some age and showing more of her chest than you would see at the beach in a small bikini! With the twin thoughts (no pun intended) of "how does a guy see that and be motivated by the spirit?" and "she does what she does to get what she gets," wrestling in my mind I came to this conclusion. That poor soul is so desperate for attention, approval and a need to be noticed (loved?) that she is willing to go out in public, among total strangers displaying her assets hoping to be noticed. It really made me feel sad and some pity. Then I got slightly angry at how our society has totally fallen into this trap. All of us need to be loved so deeply, to be affirmed as valuable that we settle for many cheap imitations. We buy the lie. We sell ourselves cheaply. Guy’s looking feel some rush of affirmation that a woman likes him to look at her, Gal’s exposing themselves feeling like if she turns heads she may really be more than she feels she is down deep. Both are trying to get "a drink" out of a broken well that has no water. How is this model of behavior working for you? What am I doing to get what I’m getting? Maybe there is another place to get those deep needs met. Maybe their is a reservoir that has all the refreshment we need.  Maybe if I seek for the Source of love, I’ll find the real thing!

What are you doing over there? Why are you doing that over there? It would be better if you did what you do over there this way! Ever notice it is easier to wonder, worry and give direction to what is going on over there? It seems we are masters at attempting to manage what goes on over there (things that are not our responsibility) rather than what is going on right here (in my own life). Over the years counseling people I’ve had this common scenario. A husband is an addict and the wife is a saint. The guy is just hell to live with and everyone tells the wife she ought to leave the bum. But she sticks with him, takes the kids to church and gets alot of praise for what a saint she is. Then after years, something happens and the guy sees the light, feels the heat or something that turns him around. Everyone notices the guy is a marvel! It is as close a miracle as many have ever witnessed. Who would have ever thought such a life change could be made. Everyone is happy. . . except the wife. She begins to focus on any little flaw in him she can find. Everything he does is either too much, not enough, or just not good enough. What is going on? Before she could blame all her misery in life on him, what he was doing "over there." She was a saint or at least she could pretend. Now that he is not the problem and she is still miserable it is too hard for her to imagine she could be her own worst problem. So, she nitpicks and attempts to manage his life because that is still easier than looking in the mirror and working on herself. This pattern is not exclusive to a wife, I have just seen it this way more than the reverse. The bottom line is, if I am not happy, the responsibility lies 100% with me. I need to look hard in the mirror and do what it takes to figure out what is going on in me while at the same time releasing my desire to stay focused "over there." What is "over there" has little to do with what is happening "right here." Take care of the "right here" and the "over there" will take care of itself.

 

Scott

I look at the pictures of Gayle and me on our wedding day, January 20, 1973 and we look like kids! That is because we were. Nineteen years old and knew very little about life yet but jumped in to learn together. There has been very much adventure for us to live through. Three children, our first born daughter was a month early weighing in at only 3lbs 9oz. Jennifer has grown up to be our "Four-Ten Jen." Our second daughter was always a charmer. Full of energy and life. She has a can do spirit which is great because she also has some serious learning disabilities. Our third born is a son born six years after our second, so our son has three mom’s! Two older sisters who love him and looked out for him and a real mom.  There have been six different residences over the years. We enjoyed all of them while we lived there. There have been ups and downs, many opportunities to grow as individuals and as a couple. I went to college at 25 after our first two were born. I worked full-time and went to school full-time and Gayle held down the fort. Here we are now only 54 years old, and empty nesters living in Florida. The amazing thing to me is after all the years, good times, hurtful times and everything in between, we are still crazy about each other. We are best friends, spiritual adventure partners, and lovers. There is no one we would rather be with than each other. So, I thank the Lord for His work in both of us, and for allowing me to marry and stay with the bride of my youth. She is a rare and precious treasure and I’m glad she is mine! Thank you Gayle for loving me and being my partner for life, I wouldn’t want to do it without you!!

 

Someone asked me what I can attribute our longevity too. I always have a couple answers for that. Work on yourselves, become the best husband or wife you can while letting your partner do the same. Unsolicited advise is a killer of relationships, don’t give it unless asked your opinion. Create a safe environment where you are loved and accepted as you are with room for growth at your own pace. Do your best to have a living relationship with the Lord where He can show you what you need to change.

 

Scott

Following the true life story of life, love, faith and hope I have written about the last several posts has a way of giving life a different perspective. I really enjoy football, especially the playoff season we are in currently. Somehow the significance of a bunch of guys running around with a ball, though still fun to watch isn’t nearly as important as what is happening in two small rooms at Duke Medical Center and the unfolding story of what God is doing around the world as a result. I don’t know how many times during last night’s game I got up to see if there had been any updates posted on Nate’s blog http://www.cfhusband.blogspot.com/. I don’t know how many times I had serious lapses in concentration on the game and found I was thinking about and praying silently for Tricia and Gwyneth. I started wondering about the Scripture that says, "seeing the crowds He was moved with compassion." I think the everyday involvement, personal involvement in the real life struggle with people is where true compassion is birthed. I know I haven’t cared this much about too much of anything for several years. My perspective has been altered, I hope for good! 

 

Scott

I don’t know how many of you have been following the story of Nate, Trisha & Gwyneth http://www.cfhusband.blogspot.com/ but it would be good for you to catch up on what has transpired over the last couple weeks. The picture I posted is from Nate’s blog and is Gwyneth Lawrenson holding her dad’s finger. She was born premature at 24 weeks gestation and weighed in at 1 pound 6 ounces. As I write this morning Trisha, the mom is still not fully conscious of all that has transpired. See she has Cystic Fibrosis and her life is in peril through the child birth and the condition of her lungs. There is no way I can communicate what is taking place at Duke from my home in Florida. I just want to point you to the story so you can go to Nate’s blogsite and have your faith renewed, become part of the thousands world-wide who are praying and just flat out be inspired with this story of a family that loves the Lord and each other. It is a story of love, faith and hope that is quality enough to be a Bible story! Read and be inspired. http://www.cfhusband.blogspot.com/

 

Scott

I was reading Nate’s blog this morning http://www.cfhusband.blogspot.com/ and thinking about Nate’s thoughts while clutching the pager. My mind flashed back to 1989 and being in the waiting room while my dad was having brain surgery. During those hours and days of waiting and wondering it seems the Lord teaches many things. One big thing I remember that I carried into my ministry later was to embrace today. I remembered being at the hospital and just wanting to hurry everything back to normal. In our case, normal never really happened. Three months of deterioration and my dad’s passing came instead. As I look back, I thought, "I’d give anything to be in the hospital waiting room knowing I was going to be able to go back and see dad for a few minutes." That is when I started encouraging people in similar situations to embrace and do their best to enjoy each moment. Really isn’t that a good way to live no matter what we are facing. Whether it is the best time of your life, the worst time or somewhere in between this present moment is all I have. I may as well choose to embrace today, considering it precious and valuable as the only life I have. I will never have this day to live again.

 

Scott

Gwyneth is here, 1lb 6oz and in NICU. Trisha is in ICU on a ventilator. The next 24 hours are critical for both. Neither’s survival is certain. Please continue to pray for this couple and their new little one. I was thinking as I wrote this that none of us are certain we will live the next 24 hours, what is our life but a vapor? Please pray for strength, some rest, and the ability to contine trusting through the events as they unfold.

 

Scott