I do what I do to get what I get!

I’m an avid learner. I’m always reading, listening, researching trying to learn and grow. I can’t believe I never actually read Dale Carnegie’s "How to Win Friends and Influence People," till now. I did have to memorize some of his key points in college but never read the book. I recently bought the audio version and have begun listening. Carnegie talks about how all of us do what we do to get what we get. In other words, our deep down motivations that fuel our behaviors are done for the purpose of meeting some deep need in ourselves. Recently, I’ve seen how my deep need for words of encouragement or affirmation often fuel me to go "fishing." If that need is not being met in me, I begin to tell people what I’m doing in an attempt to elicit their praise. I do what I do to get what I get. I work with a men’s group at church, now no man will be shocked by the following statement but many ladies probably will be. Just as most women long for security and closeness and other emotional needs to be met, especially the need to feel attractive and worthy of being loved, most men seem to have physical needs closer to the surface. Feed us, give us a recliner and the remote control, and sleep with us and most guys think all is well with the world. With that physical need so close to the surface many men, if moral at all, struggle with a desire to look at attractive members of the opposite sex. This is all going some where so hang on. Some time ago I wrote a blog about the flesh vs. the spirit. How for Christians all our motivations come from one of those two cores. The other day I’m at Wal-Mart by myself to pick up a couple things and a forty something woman comes around the corner dressed in such a way that I’m sure any man’s eyes would drop lower than her face immediately. She was fairly attractive but clearly showing some age and showing more of her chest than you would see at the beach in a small bikini! With the twin thoughts (no pun intended) of "how does a guy see that and be motivated by the spirit?" and "she does what she does to get what she gets," wrestling in my mind I came to this conclusion. That poor soul is so desperate for attention, approval and a need to be noticed (loved?) that she is willing to go out in public, among total strangers displaying her assets hoping to be noticed. It really made me feel sad and some pity. Then I got slightly angry at how our society has totally fallen into this trap. All of us need to be loved so deeply, to be affirmed as valuable that we settle for many cheap imitations. We buy the lie. We sell ourselves cheaply. Guy’s looking feel some rush of affirmation that a woman likes him to look at her, Gal’s exposing themselves feeling like if she turns heads she may really be more than she feels she is down deep. Both are trying to get "a drink" out of a broken well that has no water. How is this model of behavior working for you? What am I doing to get what I’m getting? Maybe there is another place to get those deep needs met. Maybe their is a reservoir that has all the refreshment we need.  Maybe if I seek for the Source of love, I’ll find the real thing!

About Scott Ranck

Enjoying life with my wife Gayle and our Yorkie, Zoe boy. I've come to believe life begins when through brokenness I can embrace it fully and openly. I've learned the human drama is an adventure and all of us are made of the same stuff. The Lord is the only being who knows me fully and he has an individual educational plan of life long learning for me and I'm enrolled. This blog is all about what I'm learning.
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