Recently, there has been a cell phone company that features "My Circle," it allows you to have five or ten friends from any network you can call and not use your minutes.
In the realm of emotional needs, my top need has always been the need for affirmation/approval. Someone said, that young boys need their father’s approval and if they don’t receive it they tend to look for it through the rest of their lives. That would describe me. My favorite part of being in the ministry was Sunday morning on stage preaching. Gee, I wonder if there is a connection between my need for affirmation and my love of center stage?
Recently, I’ve noticed that I desire to have the approval/affirmation of people in roles of authority, like the big boss, the senior pastor and others in key roles. When I sense those people don’t see me or value me, it could cause me to spiral into depression or really have some negative feelings toward those people and what ever organization they led.
I took some negative feelings I was having to the Lord recently and He revealed to me I need to narrow "My Circle," to two! The Lord and me, period. That means, I need only His approval/affirmation, if He chooses to bring me approval/affirmation through another that will be His call. I need to learn to be content with doing the right thing for the right reason before Him. He showed me I could never get enough of what I don’t need. In this case, that is the praise of people can never meet the deep need of my heart for approval/affirmation, only my relationship with God and His approval can meet that need. Whenever my feelings about myself are based on gaining other’s affirmation, I have given them too much power over me to do something for me, they really cannot accomplish.
This does not mean I can live in caloused disregard to others around me, I just have to live in a very tight circle, God and me, when it comes to my value, worth and purpose in life. When this truth became clear to me, I sighed with relief and my mood instantly grew brighter. The pressure was off to a large degree. I can be free to be and do whatever the Lord desires. He can open doors no man can shut and close doors no man can open. I just need to rest in Him and strive to please Him with my life. Sorry, no matter who you are you cannot be in my circle anymore. I will live for the affirmation of ONE.