REALfitness by Scott

About a week ago, I criticized someone in front of others in a way that caused some hurt and a confrontation. After I started pondering the situation, I’ve come to see that because I once held a position of senior leader in an organization, doesn’t mean anything if I can’t humble myself in my current position. Attempting to grasp for that position or the respect that went with it has only caused me to not function very well in the subordinate role I am currently in. Instead of quietly and humbly being the best I can be to support and encourage those above me, I regularly have felt I know better, I would do things differently if I were in charge, etc. I never imagine I will be a doormat without an opinion, I’m not wired that way and I read too much but my attitude can change toward my role. I will never be effective in my role if I am constantly aspiring or feeling I deserve a role higher on the food chain. If I feel like I need to be recognized as a respected leader rather than a contributing member of the team, my contributions will be tarnished by my egotistical attitude. I’ve not seen this glaring flaw till the last couple days but I am eager to go to work to improve. I pulled an old book off the shelf I never read very carefully, “360* Leader,” by John Maxwell. I am hoping to learn how to become a good follower with influence.

Blessings,

Scott

On the heals of my last post, could each of us, including me be part of the solution to our nation’s mess? What would the solution look like? Maybe if I could boil down what is happening on a national scale to what it takes for any two people to get along it would make the challenge seem doable.

Shane Deichman hit the attitude needed squarely on the head, humility is a great starting point. Also, when you desire to know someone and hear what they are saying it is much more difficult to be hurtful towards them because of their position. Maybe approaching topics by asking, what is it about this topic that causes you to be so passionate and what can I learn from listening to your perspective. What life shapers have you experienced that makes this issue so close to you?

Can we focus on topics and understanding rather than name calling and pigeon holing people. All to the left are not “Anti-American,” and all to the right are not “Ignorant, unintelligent bumpkins.”

When we put on the table what we are passionate about and why, is there some compromise a position that both sides can endorse, though it may not be either sides first choice? Isn’t this what we do to keep our marriages together? This is what it will take to pull our country together as well.

Maybe the entire country won’t do this but if I do it and you do it then we have a start. What we are currently doing is not working and to continue drawing hard lines and being ugly will only bring more of the same result.

As we have watched other nations around the world slipping into bankruptcy, like Greece, we have to know our nation is not too big to fail. We have to be students of history to know nation after nation has slipped from greatness to mere existing. We have to know it could happen here as well. Most can say what we are currently doing is not helping many, it’s not working.

There must be a higher, better way. We need to choose to be great and do the things that will help us achieve that destination. I need to be able to say, “So, you are Pro Choice, I am Pro Life, let’s talk about why this is important to both of us, I want to hear your thoughts.”

Could we be part of the solution?

blessings,

Scott

Most Americans are pretty passionate about something. It may be my personal rights. It may be my view of how the country should be governed. It may be where the line is between church and state or any other host of issues. Pro Life or Pro Abortion has been a hot topic that can stir great debate and intensity still after all these years. It is interesting to see how people who hold differing opinions get so emotional instead of dealing with the facts of the discussion we attempt to vilify each other. For example, how I phrased the above Pro Life or Pro Abortion shows which side I’m on. The opposition side states it Anti-Abortion or Pro Choice, attempting to give their side a positive spin and a negative spin for the other. Grown adults are reduced to elementary school children squabbling and name calling over whatever. Certain public figures are lightning rods based on which side of the aisle you are on. Rush Limbaugh is one such figure and so is our current president Barrack Obama. Just typing the names I felt a twinge of emotion for both.

What I believe is happening to our country as reflected in congress is the divide between us is growing. The animosity, name calling, vilifying practiced by both sides just makes the rift deeper and wider. This mindset is ultimately what leads nations to go to war with other nations or among themselves like our own country’s Civil War. There are political leaders right now for probably everyone who reads this whom you would love to see removed from office. There are political leaders who just seeing them is similar to hearing fingernails scratching over a chalkboard.

Along time ago, people used to always say, “There are two things I won’t discuss, politics and religion.” It is difficult in our climate of never-ending campaign advertising, never-ending right and left slanted cable news shows and a highly fragmented society to follow that admonition. In many ways we have become a nation who appears to be in favor of whatever benefits me or my opinions the most. We have lost any sense of value for what is best for the entire nation, rich, middle and poor.

The left likes to view themselves as accepting, thinking, tolerant and open to view possibilities, while the right perceives they are trying to protect the constitution and the right to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The left thinks the half of the country who are responsible working Americans should take care of the other half who are home waiting on a check to come in the mail. The right believes we are all personally responsible for ourselves and achieving in life is a good thing. The left believes the government knows best about how to spend my money, how to raise my kids, who should educate, etc. The right believes I should have a free country to find opportunity for my family and me and I am capable of choosing what is best for myself. Those two sides will never find a common ground.

Maybe its time for another Civil War that isn’t so Civil? What would be an alternative? I believe we have two options before us. 1) Continue to deteriorate with our hate, vilifying each other until we do come to a total breakdown of society as we know it or 2) Stop taking special interest money and have our leaders begin listening to each other. Stop trashing people who have done well in life while making victims out of those who haven’t. Stop looking for something to grasp, some slip by someone on the opposing side that you can use to spread your hatred and gain an advantage.

I have personally attacked and been attacked. I am not supposed to hate but I greatly despise many political leaders on the left. I commented yesterday on a thread that was posted and intended to draw people into division and I was attacked harshly by people who don’t know me, name calling, name calling of my wife, venom and hatred spewing forth from the tolerant left without one shred of a logical argument ever given. Just name calling and hatred!  I removed my post and was shocked by the hatred brewing in our country.

We are killing ourselves from within, just like Rome! In my opinion, we are done as a nation. There is no turning this back. We are on the verge of moral and financial bankruptcy. Surely, human history is on the brink of demise. The whole freakin world is broke, debt out of control and no moral compass to steer us out of the mess.

Be prepared because in an hour you don’t expect the Lord will return! There will be an ultimate deliverer and He will dry all tears from our eyes and the former things will be no more. The Lord is not willing that any perish but all come to repentance.

Seems I discussed both politics and religion!

blessings with sadness,

Scott

I’m convinced the Lord has allowed me to be a late bloomer, very inquisitive and a talker for a reason! Everything I learn I teach to others, who are eager to learn. In my last post and in my message last night at church, I commented on developing my own value system. How could someone get to be my age and not have their own value system? Well, I’ve had values but for the most part they weren’t really mine internally. See, I grew up with a pretty strong mom and I wanted to please her and gain her affirmation. To please her meant I needed to know what she valued. I carried that same mindset into our young marriage at age 19. I tried to learn what was important to Gayle and tried not to upset her. You know the slogan, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” In our early life at age 21 we became involved in a super legalistic church that had rules on how you could wear your hair, your clothes, what you could, should and ought to do in almost every area of life. I wanted to be accepted so I followed their value system. Wherever I went in life in an effort to fit in, I lived their value system, at least while I was in their presence. My biggest personal value was, “Try not to give anyone a reason to be upset with me or reject me.” I was much like Julia Roberts in the Runaway Bride. She always ordered for breakfast whatever eggs her current boyfriend ordered. After running from several altars, there is this scene where Julia has all kinds of eggs spread across the kitchen while she samples them all trying to see which one SHE really liked best.

Well, I’m trying the eggs. A couple of months ago, I began praying and thinking and developing MY own value system based on what I really value, how I want to live my life before the Lord and what will be my own real, internal guiding principles. At this point, though I’m trying to take other people and organizations into consideration, for the most part it can’t be about them. I’m realizing this is why peer pressure holds such power on kids. All their values are external, someone else’s idea of what they should be like. Those values have no power when the holder of the values is not present.

My new internal compass doesn’t need anyone else I know around for it steer me. My compass shouldn’t be, “What will happen if my wife, pastor or friends find out about this!” My compass is, will this activity violate my values system? There is a massive difference between the two!

Blessings,

Scott

I read back through my journal this morning. Two months ago, I described myself as disconnected, angry, and not very content with much of anything. I decided to go to a Christian Counselor who recommended a couple of books for me to read. Both of them hit me squarely between the eyes. A third book came out from one of my favorite authors during this stretch. It is titled, The Cure, by John Lynch. On top all the other work I’ve done on myself over the years these three books in succession have had a profound impact on me. During these months I have been writing in a journal and developing my own value system. At the point of this writing I’m choosing to accept the truth I am declared righteous through Jesus Christ. I also have now developed my very own defined value system. It isn’t my mom’s, wife’s or church’s, it is mine. What a powerful thing that has been. It has been an amazing couple months on the journey!

Blessings,

Scott

I’ve listened to the news concerning the recent cruise ship disaster. The reporters said it was pandemonium on board as the ship tipped and people scrambled to save their lives. They reported many men were pushing past the women to save themselves. The report I watched showed a clip from the movie The Titanic where the captain said, women and children first! I might add, that is precisely the way I think it should be. But, I must ask the question, “Who killed Chivalry in America?”

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t beat men down in society for twenty years, making us look like bumbling idiots on TV and Movies. You can’t pump out shows that are action dramas and all the men stand back waiting for the female to save the day. You can’t teach Darwinian survival of the fittest and then complain when the fittest survive! You can’t spank men for opening car doors or building doors or not wanting to put a women in the front lines of military conflict and then ask, “Why didn’t the men save me when the ship was sinking.” Like it or not, when as a society we remove all distinctions that gender bring, that seem obvious to everyone but those blinded by some mythical ideal that doesn’t exist, this is the logical outcome.

I read many years ago that the Christian basic beliefs held by most Americans was what gave our women the opportunities to have equal footing with men. Our peaceful society, our respect for each other allowed men to be civilized to the point that we honored the ladies by giving them privileges few other societies around the world enjoy. The writer’s proof was remove civility and allow the country to move to anarchy and the whole nature of this request changes.

So, while there is a remnant of Christian values left in the USA, I believe women should have all the same opportunities as men. But as women, when you demand you should be treated no differently in any regard and you can’t recognize the obvious, that God made men, bigger and stronger, with more muscle mass by divine design, then don’t be shocked when men oblige you and allow you to go down with the ship while they find safety for themselves. We have a totally confused society. Men don’t know how to be men and women don’t know how to be ladies. It has nothing to do with equality; it has everything to do with reality.

Chivalry is not totally dead, but it is gasping for air. Can’t we have equal rights with dignity given to the unique strengths of both sexes? Can’t we honor the value and dignity that both women and men contribute to building a wholesome society? Can’t a lady be the CEO of a company and still allow a man to open the door for her?

Mutual honor, mutual respect with respect to God-given differences.

blessings,

Scott