I’ve seen the books, “Why Men Hate Church,” and other such things. I have watched for over 30 years how much more women are active in church while the men let them take the lead. This past week on one of my road trips I was listening to an interview on the radio. The host was interviewing a marriage counselor. The counselor said, 85% of men are “Intimacy Avoiders.”
He talked about some basic things about how most men are less communicative, speak fewer words per day than their female partners and other observable traits. He talked about how American Culture doesn’t promote men who are in touch with their feelings or who are free to share them.
This all started making me wonder about many, many things. I am one of the 15% of men who enjoy talking below the surface, about my feelings, etc. I started wondering if most male spiritual leaders are in that 15%? We are relational and are in relationship with God. We desire a level of intimacy with God. We tend to connect at a deeper level with others.
If 85% of the male population are intimacy avoiders, maybe they avoid intimacy with God too. Maybe they don’t know where or how to begin. All this pondering led me to a challenge and a plan of action.
God desires each of us to have a personal, yes, intimate relationship with Him. That means to know Him deeply and be known by Him. But apparently a large percentage of the male population doesn’t even talk or think this way. Having deep relationships isn’t even on the radar screen.
What better way to learn how to connect deeply, than in the privacy of your own home. I am asking the 85% of men and apparently 15% of the ladies to do this. Get quiet and just tell God the truth. Tell Him you want to connect with significant other people and you want to connect with Him but you don’t even know where to begin. Ask Him to teach you! Ask Him to open your spirit to learn from Him and others around you who know how to connect. Then learn from Him.
Finally, this isn’t girly stuff men. David, one of my favorite Biblical Heroes was a man’s man! He killed Goliath for gosh sake! But reading the Psalms it is clear he was in the 15% of men who are not intimacy challenged.
Men, significant people in your world need you to learn how to open up and connect. Your wives are dying emotionally. Your kids long for you to be able to connect with them. People around you at work or wherever want to know who you are. You need to know the other people in your world and see what makes them tick.
Ponder these thoughts.
Hi Scott, It is good to hear from you again. Steve Clark