I was just woke up by my radio this morning listening to a national radio show. The host "expert" was sharing how divorce is much worse than in previous generations and said it was because of pornography. I felt sad about that because it just is such a bogus view. As I see it this is one of the huge problems among most Christians. We can’t seem to see past surface issues that are wrong. For years the church rode the wagon railing against drinking alcohol. Of course we are against drugs. Naturally we are against pornography. The problem is those things are all SYMPTOMS of deeper issues. Being born with a sinful nature and choosing wrong paths is only part of the problem however. Here is where it gets sticky. I know tons of Christians who have accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior, who know they are forgiven but still battle with addictive type habits. Why? I’ve got good news and bad news for you. The good news is you don’t have to drink, drug, shop, eat, work. look at porn or any other addictive behavior. The bad news is that is not your problem! Behind all addictive behavior is emotional woundeness. There is some form of pain that was inflicted or self inflicted that has never been opened and healed. We hid it, hid from it, act as if it never happened, run from it, bury it and no matter how hard we try it keeps coming up to meet us in the future. When you uncover that deep wound, and allow it to be healed, your addictive habits will go away.
The reason the divorce rate is higher today has little to do with pornography, that is just one more means of covering the real issue with a temporary band aid. The real issue is we have the greatest percentage of people who have no clue how to have healthy relationships. We are now living with the first generation of kids who basically grew up in day care and have raised themselves. Many grew up rarely if ever having a family meal together. There are deep wounds of neglect, sometimes abuse and often wondering if their father approved of them or if their mother loved them. We wonder where we fit in this world and if we are good enough. Those deep wounds fuel us to "medicate" the emotional pain we feel. We are broken people, wounded people and unhealthy people. Throw two of them together and you don’t get a healthy marriage, you get two very needy, unhealthy people who are not able to survive long together. Until we figure this out and begin to create safe places for people to get to the root of their issues, it will just multiply to epidemic levels. Or maybe it has already!