My good friend Willie used to always give me this advise when I was in conflict with someone, but I just never could fully get my mind around the concept. He would say, "ask God to give YOU what THEY need." I’d hear it but couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. I’m thinking why don’t I ask God to give THEM what THEY need? Recently, I’ve been made aware that I could have some anger issues. As I’ve begun asking the Lord to teach me about this He has! I had an "aha" moment last night. The lights finally went on. I learned that one of the things that causes anger feelings is when some of my personal needs are not met. I feel like in many ways I grew up in a way that my opinion, thoughts and feelings didn’t really matter much, I just did what I was told and that was that. So, I have this strong desire to be heard, valued and respected and when I’m not, I really don’t have any use for you. One of Gayle’s desires over the years of our marriage and I would say a pretty constant concern is that often it seems like I don’t listen to her, value her or respect her. Pardon the picture but what I saw in my head was two hogs at the same trough with one husk of corn they were both trying to get. It finally dawned on me, "Lord give me the ability to listen to, value and respect Gayle. To do that, I need to receive from You the sense that You listen to, value and respect me." Give me what she needs because I need it too and I can’t give it to her till I get it from you! I started thinking of many people I know in conflict and what I see is two hogs fighting over the same husk. That one thing you think you really need and don’t get is the one thing your partner, child, boss, etc. needs too! Wowzie!!