In growing healthy spiritually and emotionally, one clear indicator for me has been how I view other people. It is especially important how I view other people who are very similar to me in personality type. I’ve been reading and rereading Matthew 7 recently. This is the famous passage where Jesus is teaching on judging others. He gives the great counsel to "get the log out of your own eye first" then maybe you will be able to see clearly to help someone else get the "splinter" out of their eye.
It is interesting pondering that passage. The splinter and the log are made of the same material. What I’ve noticed in my life is how this teaching gets all turned around. Jesus seems to teach that the person judging others harshly has the same issue in their own life but in a much larger way. Having not dealt with my own issue, when I see the very same issue in you, it appears way bigger in you than it really is. My own issue causes your issue to be magnified to me.
Reality is my issue is way bigger than your issue! Recently, we had a guest at our home that is natured very similar to me. During that visit rather than judging the other person harshly it was obvious to me I was seeing my own reflection in that person. I was seeing my own flaws fleshed out right before my eyes. It was humbling. It forced me into the "log extraction mode." I’ve got a friend that always said, "if you spot it you got it." He meant when you see a glaring flaw in someone else it is because your own flaw magnifies theirs.
The road to spiritual and emotional health requires we spend 12 hours a day focusing on the greatness of God and our own development and 12 hours a day letting other people alone, allowing them to work their own program before God. Then when we’ve done the hard work, we can tell our own story and trust that God will use our humility and honesty to help others see their own "logs."