I’ve been taking personal inventory concerning my life including the good the bad and the ugly. I’ve learned so much reading about life shaping factors. In many ways I want to be able to blame someone or something for all my character defects. I wish I could move and get away and start a fresh life. Guess what? I just did! But I have this strange problem, "everywhere I go, I am there!" What I’m slowly realizing is my being happy, joyous and free has very little to do with where I live, who I’m with, or even how I was raised. All those elusive qualities can be discovered only internally. The only external thing that will change anything is my relationship with God. He can give me the power and the insights to fix what is broken, heal what is sick and undo any damage from other external and internal sources.
It would be easier if I could move to a tropical paradise and life would be good. It would be easier to change jobs and automatically have great working relationships. It would be easier. . . But those things don’t change who I am inside. Instead of blaming, I have to start owning. I have to own my life as an adult. I have to take responsibility for my health in all realms. In every situation I can respond in a healthy or unhealthy way, in a responsible way or in a blaming way. Many may do me wrong, that isn’t my concern. Only my response is what matters to me, that is all I can be responsible for. I’d rather blame you but when I do, nothing changes. So, I must do the hard work of looking into the mirror, of getting input and feedback from a few close friends and meditating on the truth of God’s Word. Open my eyes Lord and teach me your ways.