Here in Florida I’m a state certified energy rater. Recently, I’ve been studying for a national exam to move me to the next level. Something I recently learned is our homes are in a constant battle! Air pressure, temperature and water (humidity) are constantly attempting to balance inside the home with outside the home. Because it is more comfortable for us to have the inside different from the outside i.e. cooler in summer, less humidity and often less pressure through venting out steam etc., we must expend massive amounts of energy and go to heroic measures to fight against this process of balancing. So we insulate, provide vapor barriers, install heating and cooling systems so we can attempt to win the battle. All the energy we expend is attempting to make our domain more comfortable. Imagine now an island setting, laid back, no windows, big open air verandas, ceiling fans circulating the air, no battle between the inside and outside.
I’ve not thought this all the way through yet but I believe husbands and wives are alot like the inside and outside of the home. It is a constant battle for control. It shows up in many areas, finances, parenting, responsibilities, etc. We attempt to guard our turf, so we insulate and put up barriers of protection to keep our own comfort intact. It takes massive amounts of energy and protective layers to keep our interior environment from being encroached upon by our spouse. Here is a great litmus test for your relationship, "how much energy does it take to live with your partner? Or how much energy does it take your partner to live with you!" I want my marriage to be more like the tropical island home with open windows and no energy required to balance. Here is how that happens. Pick any topic and come to an agreement (surrender) how that issue will be handled by you as a couple. You don’t have to agree with how every minor detail is handled to be able to sign off on the plan. When you both agree fully, not one rolling over to keep the other happy, the energy that issue used to require is no longer necessary. There is balance which brings harmony. You’ve both given up the power by accepting a plan that you both can agree to. Both have compromised something but for the peace and harmony it will bring, you agree. The major conflict in relationships is one person attempting to dominate another rather than two adults living responsibily together. Relationships will come to a place of balance in power or they will break.
On another note, our peace with God comes when we throw open the windows and let His environment become our environment. The fight comes when I want my way instead of His way. When His way is my way, the energy can now be used to fight the enemy.
Just some Saturday morning thoughts!