Five years ago I said a prayer, "Lord if I ever have to move, let it be to Florida, I could be happy there!" Two years ago Gayle and I moved to Florida, but the job I got was really long hours and I had little time to enjoy Florida. I said, if only I had a job that had some flexibility, weekends off and allowed me to be home at our lovely place, then I’d be happy. Well, amazingly, I got a job that set me up with a home office, the opportunity for great flexibility, just alittle travel, and decent pay. But, money was still pretty tight. We were meeting our budget but it was pretty close to the edge. I said, wow, we live in Florida, I have a great job, but I think I could be happier with just alittle extra money. For the first time in our married life Gayle picked up a couple "home type" jobs that brought in some income, I started having some commissions come in and things began to loosen up financially. I’m a teacher and I said the only thing missing now is an outlet for me to do some teaching. Next thing you know I’m hired part-time by our church to lead the men’s ministry and I have a weekly outlet to share what I’m learning plus another income stream!
Last night walking with my wife I was sharing my discontent. I feel disconnected. We are in a new place with no really good friends, I said, I think I’d be happier if we could move back where we came from! This morning on my run, the Lord showed me He has given me everything I ask for and I’m still not bubbling over with happiness in life! I think He thought He would save me the hassle of moving by letting me see this pattern, because even if I moved back to where we came from, I WOULD STILL BE THERE!! I asked, could it be something inside of me, driving this restlessness and lack of enjoyment with life? Okay, I know the problem is within me, now I need to wrestle with what that problem is and how to change it. In recovery they say moving, changing jobs, and changing spouses isn’t going to fix your issues, because every where you go, there you are! I guess the biggest move I need to make right now is deeper inside.